Being a pimp in my car (Yea, that me)

How soon 'not now' becomes 'never'.

Some days I just don't feel like doing anything. Then that turns into weeks and then months! It feels like I wasted way too much time over the past few years.

It is time to change things that feel uncomfortable to me. Doing something is better than doing nothing.

'Life is Killing Me' .... think about it

Like a Jew in ancient Spain
And for Christ's name did pay with pain
Modern day inquisition
What is the link between these crafts?
Doctors and thieves, they both
wear masks
Overpaid meat magicians

Life is killing me

Your doctorate and Ph.D.
Would wipe my ass etched in feces
Will not cure your affliction
Doctors Jeckyll or Mengele
And your face too, they're just a blur
Can't improve my condition

Life is killing me

Appointment made, waited three hours
Did not realize you had such power
I'd rather see a mortician
Your parents saved or had the bucks
Your education stems from luck
Future corpse: death by physician

I have no choice: devoid of rights
So pull the plug, it's my damned life
Keep me alive to increase your bill
A Red Cross hell? - the hospital!

Just let me die with dignity
It's not suicide, simply mercy

Just who do you think you are?
Medical school don't make you God
Now I don't care what you've been taught
Just get me off this life support

Just let me die with dignity
It's not suicide, simply mercy

Life is killing me

Control Drinking .... yep, that worked out for me.

Man, this was SO true for me ... I ALWAYS wanted to control my drinking!!

"Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death."

Rise so high, yet so far to fall.
A plan of dignity and balance for all.
Political breakthrough, euphorias high.
More borrowed money, more borrowed time.
Backed in a corner, caught up in the race.
Means to an end ended in disgrace.
Perspective is lost in the spirit of the chase.

Foreclosure of a dream,
Those visions never seen,
Until all is lost,
Personal holocaust.
Foreclosure of a dream.

Barren land that once filled a need,
Are worthless now, dead without a deed.
Slipping away from an iron grip,
Natures scales are forced to tip,
The heartland cries, loss of all pride.
To leave aint believing, so try and be tried.
Insufficient funds, insanity and suicide.

Foreclosure of a dream,
Those visions never seen,
Until all is lost,
Personal holocaust.
Foreclosure of a dream.

Now with new hope some will be proud.
This is no hoax, no one pushed out.
Receive a reprieve and be a pioneer.
Break new ground of a new frontier.
New ideas will surely get by.
No deed, or dividend. some may ask why?
Youll find the solution, the answers in the sky.

Rise so high, yet so far to fall.
A plan of dignity and balance for all.
Political breakthrough, euphorias high.
More borrowed money, more borrowed time.

THE BEST FOR TODAY

Just as a sculptor will use different tools to achieve desired effects in creating a work of art, in Alcoholics Anonymous the Twelve Steps are used to bring about results in my own life. I do not overwhelm myself with life's problems, and how much more work needs to be done. I let myself be comforted in knowing that my life is now in the hands of MY Higher Power, a master craftsman who is shaping each part of my life into a UNIQUE work of art. By working my program (in AA and outside of AA) I can be satisfied, knowing that in doing the best that I can for today, I'm doing all that MY Higher Power asks of me.

“Someone who knew what he was
talking about once remarked that pain
was the touchstone of all spiritual
progress. How heartily we A.A.’s can
agree with him.”

On a bad day ..... something that gets me by

Hear me now
Bearing down upon a path we choose
Chosen from the start living different rules
Existence something to cherish true
Will not succumb to doubts that I hold onto
Release the fear of my pain
In so much pain
Give me the will to fight
Every obstacle that I have inside
Release the fear and

Hear me now
Words I vow
No fucking regrets

Fuck these chains
No god damn slave
I will be different

I'll stand here defiantly
My middle finger raised
Fuck your prejudice

All my life
Always I've felt alone
Conditioned to believe that I'm always wrong
Only truth will help to set me free
My every weakness I must turn into strength
Every rage, every tear
Hate in so much hate
Never that pain will bind me
Ask of myself if I've the will to unwind
Every rage and tear

Hear me now
Words I vow
No fucking regrets

Fuck these chains
No god damn slave
I will be different

I'll stand here defiantly
My middle finger raised
Fuck your prejudice

Carved upon my stone
I will go on
Patience, belief
Love will ascend

Just listen to it
Voice so true inside calling
To pick you up and march you on
Keep from falling
Let go your sorrow
Sun will shine, this I promise
Rising tommorow
Rising

Hear me now
I'm taking back the control
Of my
Life from society's hold
I vow
No more will I be a slave
Rise to
Challenge the whole human race

My spirit you cannot break
When we won't lose

My Sister (Jo Ann), Bother-in-law (Johnathan) and ME ( not into Christmas )